Boston Couples Therapy and Relationship Counseling
Rebuilding the connection in your relationship
When you feel disconnected from a partner, life feels heavy. None of us were meant to navigate alone, and when we do, we are burdened with a feeling of loneliness and the numbness it brings. In our Boston couples therapy service, we offer relationships of all kinds a chance to reconnect, to dive into the problems that keep them disconnected, and to grow beyond their cycles of conflict and avoidance.
In relationships that don’t work, we unconsciously run to our favorite coping mechanisms. For most of us this mechanism is a well worn favorite that we visit every day to help with normal stress. Alcohol. Netflix. Gaming. Staying busy. Not realizing that we are missing something, we continue these patterns as if they are healthy, understandable, but guilty pleasures. Inviting numbness, we forget that the greatest of pleasure, the greatest stress relief, the best coping mechanism, can only be achieved when connected with someone else.
Why do couples seek relationship counseling?
People seek relationship and couples therapy when they are tired and angry after years of struggle or neglect, when they are betrayed and broken in the aftermath of infidelity, when they realize that they are living life without its most joyous offerings - love and romance. They come when they realize that they love each other but can’t seem to say it with any sense of emotional stirring. They come when they wake up one day and see a stranger who's been sharing their bed for years.
They often come to address specific relationship issues like:
Lack of intimacy
Communication challenges
Infidelity
Constant conflict
Sexual disconnect
Sexless marriage
Divorce
Jealousy
Sexual dysfunction
Relationship trauma
Family or in-laws conflict
Differences in values
And in the process of addressing these issues in couples therapy they discover that feelings of disconnect, small and great, have pushed them apart slowly. Relationship counseling can not only address the issues that bring couples to therapy, but it can enhance the relationship beyond its previous best point, making it stronger and healthier in the long run.
Couples therapy helps couples work through many issues
Couples therapy is often hard, but when couples come together to confront issues head on, it can transform their relationship. Regardless of the reasons, couples who agree to vulnerability, communicate openly and honestly, demonstrate willingness to change, and reach out for connection can heal and grow.
Confront your issues head-on.
Relationships often suffer from a lack of open and honest discussion. Therapy sessions, particularly in-person sessions, can provide space for couples to confront themselves and each other safely and productively. Although in person sessions are usually better, healthy confrontation is still possible via Telehealth.
Transform your relationship.
Something almost magical happens when people in a relationship open up discussion of their core issues. When done correctly, suddenly the issues appear different than before. In the light of our offices in Boston or in the reflection of their computer screen, they see each other more clearly and more compassionately. Sometimes the sparks of conflict fly but in service to a reshaping of their interaction.
Bringing couples together.
Although the work is hard and sometimes tiring, the act of opening up is hugely beneficial in bringing couples back together. For those in Boston, coming to an office dedicated to their relationship provides relief and safety. For couples over Telehealth, setting aside the time and energy necessary to show up honestly helps jumpstart couples to new directions.
Our special approach to relationship counseling
Dr. Kinsey is a specialist who combines the crafts of sex therapy and relationship counseling into a unique blend for couples in trouble. Although we do not have to focus on sex or discuss it in great detail, we believe that sexual intimacy is a powerful tool for helping disconnected couples reconnect both inside and outside the bedroom. Regardless of the focus, we are well equipped to address a plethora of needs from several different perspectives.
Dr. Kinsey is a certified sex therapist through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), one of the oldest, largest, and most rigorous bodies that promotes the practice of sex therapy. He is also trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and a traditional systems theory of relationship counseling called structural family therapy - an approach that encourages therapist and couple to see the problem within their dynamic rather than within any particular individual.
For decades, sex and couples therapists have developed, practiced, and honed many different techniques. Sex therapists, informed by the work of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, were some of the original motivators for couples change through experiential learning. Masters and Johnson found that couples who practiced basic sex therapy interventions found relief relatively quickly. And modern sex therapists have built on their legacy to create multiple avenues for the integration of sex therapy and relationship counseling experiences.
Combining many different approaches and modalities is a hallmark of our work. However, all of our tools are united by a basic philosophy of how couples change - through healing experiences of connection. Particularly for couples in person in Boston, the therapy room becomes a sort of dance floor wherein we help couples try out some new steps. We don’t just talk about how to interact differently; we practice interacting in new, powerful ways. The room is a sandpit for those who need a soft place to try something different without fears of shame, ridicule, or harm done to the players participating. If needed, we can clear the “sand” and try again.
For couples who need Telehealth, these experiences will often take place at home. But we still might ask partners to hold hands, look at each other when expressing thoughts or emotions, breathe together, or stand up and shake out their frozen trauma responses. Although not the same as in-person, online therapy can be effective with some tweaking to traditional methods.
Despite our training and preparedness, we also believe in the effectiveness of couples therapy. After over 11 years of experience in couples counseling, we can honestly say, “It works.” Our work has changed how we operate in our personal lives. We have seen couples come back from the worst imaginable hurts to find healing, restoration, and new and better connection.
We have had the distinct honor of working with people who come from all over the world. We have worked with people from Iran, Vietnam, China, India, Germany, Russia, Mexico, and Brazil, to name a few. We have worked with Black, Indigenous, Asian, and Latine Americans. We have worked with gay, lesbian, polyamorous, Kink/BDSM, sex workers, bisexual as well as heterosexual relationships. We have worked with Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, atheist, and agnostic clients. Regardless of your background and experience, we are ready to work with you, and we are committed to creating an open, welcoming, affirmative, and celebratory space for who you are and what you bring.
Therapy for Couples - Thoughts From Our Blog
Schedule your next couples therapy appointment in Boston
Contact us to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. We enjoy speaking with every couple before they schedule to make sure we are the right fit to meet their needs and to answer whatever questions they might have.