There are many reasons why you should be curious about who I am and why I chose sex therapy. It’s important that you feel comfortable with me and confident that I know what I am doing.
I experienced a lot of trauma growing up related to sexuality. Like many of us, I was explicitly told not to be sexual, and the restrictive lessons I learned in childhood caused me pain and grief in adulthood. I attempted to have the healthy sexual relationships I deserved, but I did not know how. When things went wrong, I ended up hurt. So when I discovered sex therapy, I immediately knew that this was my passion, calling, and a way to heal myself.
I began my healing journey in graduate school. More specifically my last ditch effort to abandon and avoid sexuality was in Christian seminary. After failing miserably, I decided to embrace sexuality and pursue a lifetime of sexual healing. (Thanks, Marvin Gaye!) I received my PhD from the University of North Texas where I studied with a well-respected master of sex therapy, Dr. Janice Miner Holden. She taught me that the healing process, like the problems it’s trying to fix, is multifaceted and difficult for anyone to tackle on one’s own. They need an advocate who is specialized in this complex and difficult subject.
I have extensive training in the art of sex therapy. In addition to my graduate studies where I specifically studied and practiced sex therapy, I actively conduct research on human sexual development, and I regularly speak, teach, and write on the subject. I have been published in several national, academic journals, and I am currently in the process of writing a book. I am a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, and I am an Adjunct Professor at Southern Methodist University where I work with graduate students who are studying to become counselors and sex therapists. My research involves collecting the sexual stories of adults, mostly adults aged 50 and older, to create a more holistic model of the sexual development. All of my experience and training has prepared me to see clients’ sexual issues within the vast complexity of their lives and relationships.
But it wasn’t until I fell in love that I personally realized the secret to sexual healing. All of my academic training prepared me to work with clients, but my personal experiences honed my expertise in a way no amount of schooling could. It was in a loving relationship that I experienced the trauma of my past, confronted the damage of negative sexual beliefs, and learned to trust and heal. My training and my personal experience has taught me that safety, security, and trust are important factors in sex and healing. And I endeavor to provide the safety, security, and trust that is necessary for others to heal as well.
Many clients have never experienced the freedom that comes from confronting negative stereotypes and wounds about sex. The pressure to perform, the fear of losing each other, the loss of trust through infidelity, the negative body image, the insecurity, and the traumas of the past all work to constrain us in sex. Most of us long to be free, but because most of us were not taught about sex, we lack the skills and safety to experience freedom. Although sex therapy is some of the most difficult therapeutic work, it is often the most direct and powerful form of self-confrontation and transformation.
My work with clients has become one of my greatest joys in life. I feel incredibly privileged to sit with the men and women who are hurting and struggling to integrate healthy sexuality into their relationships. I would be honored if you would let me join you on your healing journey.
Contact me to see if I am a good fit for you.
Thanks for listening.